Nov. 30th, 2004

Live Journal is about self exploration. We talk about how we think about things, each other, the world in general. Here is my challenge. Tell is this: Have you ever felt like a monster? No, not did you ever dress up and understand what monsters feel like, have you ever felt like if the world saw what you did, knew what you were thinking, it would shun you and run away? It's only fair I start out. Fat is an issue I do not dwell on. But on some occasions I see myself through other eyes and am...shaken. I have a lot of guilt in my life, so monster is not a long way to go. When I go on an airplane and have to get a seat belt extension, that gets close. When I was in Turkey and groups of children would follow me, not hiding their laughter. I tried to play to it, and it often worked, but it still makes my heart heavy (good joke that, eh?) I have made a point of not doing a lot of work agents got me because it was a shameful degradation, and I will not be the reason some fat kid bows his head in shame. But, there have been times when they got one past me, and I carry that still. My friends help, but when I am alone and watch the world deifying youth and beauty I draw more than my share of sighs. How about you? Come on and post on your own journal.

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seymoure

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