Stardust Memories

[seymoure]

I found myself watching Stardust Memories again tonight, and was struck by how magnificent a film it is. I, as did many, pretty much dismissed it when it first came out. Just more of Woody Allen rambling, this time trying to make a more Fellini-esque film. Now, looking back I see so much more. Yes, it is the Woody Allen version of "8 1/2." About a film maker looking for what the value is in what he has done, and what he should do next. I take more from this now that ever before. I was not a funny kid. But I loved comedy so much that I worked to become funny. In some ways I succeeded, but not all. And then came a time in my life when I didn't want to do that stuff, I was meant for stronger, more meaningful things. In college I tried to write IMPORTANT things that would change the world! I worked to become a serious actor, and sneered at those who offered me the comedy role. After a while, I got over myself a bit and saw "Sullivan's Travels" and understood that what I had always done was important in its way. But as I get older, and think about what I have done, I ask some of those question Allen asks in the film. When I lay on my deathbed, will I be happy with my life? Hell no, it is over too soon. But, have I done anything worthwhile? Hell yes. I have heard hundreds of people laughing as hard as they could, and I was the cause. I have brought tears to the eyes of people who didn't expect to be moved, and who applauded their surprise. I have had family and friends who love me. Will I be remembered? Is that all that important? Once I wanted fame more than fortune. Now I know that life is improv. What is important is that which we do, not that which we have done. You can't go back and gain value. The value your life holds is what is in your heart and soul right now, this moment. Would you want to know you if you were someone else? Would you trust you, see yourself as an honorable individual? Could you see yourself as someone's hero? Then, kid, ya done good. And, at this point, I think I may have.